I had a meltdown today. The first, and, while I realize it's probably not, I hope it's the last meltdown I have surrounding this whole MS thing. I've formed a team to participate in the Portland 2011 MS Walk. As I was working on my personal page within the national MS Society page, I ran into a problem. I couldn't figure out how to create a hyperlink; you know, a cute little, underlined "click here" directive. I tried and tried and with each attempt I grew more and more frustrated. Almost desperate for a solution, I called my eldest daughter. I had every intention of stating my issue in an adult manner until I heard her voice. Out of no where tears and stifled sobs arose. I kept asking myself 'where is this coming from?' (Yes, Daddy. I know I should never end a sentence with a preposition and should, instead ask, 'whence does this come?' But really. Who talks that way? Sorry, Daddy.)
So what precipitated meltdown? Besides the frustration with the hyperlink? Um, I am beginning to realize this, I mean, THIS is the new reality for us, for me. And it's hard for me to deal with. (gee, I'll bet it's easy for Art, right?) So many plans are changing. So much is different. We have Art's bicycle and accessories for sale (seriously, the bike has less than 20 miles on it) and I'm having a hard time acknowledging that we won't get to, among other activities, ride our bikes through Italy. I guess we could if Art rode a recumbent, but do you ever see recumbent touring bikes in Italy?
But there must be some good news in my gloomy world, right? Well, we had a wonderful, wonderful cruise. There were close to 1000 college students on Spring break with us, (Hey, travel agent, you're the best. Thanks for warning us.) I mean, when you were in college, your parents sent you on a spring break cruise, didn't they? Yeah, me neither. It was kinda fun for me to watch Art NOT watch the young women. These little girls, (for most of them did wear a size 0 I'm sure) wore bikinis fabricated from gauze and dental floss. Art commented there was so much eye candy he thought his eyes had cavities. Truly, these must have been Children of Privilege for they drank with abandon (both on the ship and in port). Art heard the young man at the table next to us one night complaining that he'd dropped $400 in the casino the night before. Shoot, we began our night in the casino with $40 and walked out with $90. That's how seriously I take gambling - with my money, that is. Heck, I'll gamble all night with YOUR money...
It was a perfect stateroom, too. We had a lovely little balcony where we took our coffee every morning, cocktails in the evening and cigars after dinner. We decided that on the next cruise (for there will be a cruise next year - just not during spring break) we'd like to find an itinerary that allowed us to spend several days in port as opposed to 8 hours. We'll see what we find.
Let me end this by saying how very blessed Art and I are. Not only do we have each other we have great children, beautiful, perfect grandchildren and such amazing friends! Thank you all for being our friends and supporting us. We couldn't do this without you.