Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Diagnosis

...and now it appears Mack has MS.  When I was a kid, the tag l ine on the ad said, "MS, the great crippler of young adults."  But we're not young.  It appears Mack's symptoms came on 10 or more years ago, he just never pushed for answers from the doctors.  He didn't schedule the MRI's they ordered, he didn't follow the physical therapy regimen prescribed, he didn't follow up with doctors on the schedule requested.  And now, at least, we know what it is.  There are treatments for this, at least, right?

I admit I'm a bit freaked out about this though.  I don't like it when my husband is uncomfortable, when he's embarassed by his weaknesses, when he falls in front of his friends/coworkers/employees.  I asked him tonight what sort of improvement he's hoping to find in treatments offered.  He said, essentially, he's accepted there's nothing to help him, that he's stuck like this and that he'll never regain any function.  Maybe, he admits, it will slow, but he'll never be any stronger.

That would be ok but I can't imagine giving up.  I commented earlier that "I'm not feeling very loved today", to which he said nothing.  He assured me of his love, but again, how would I know?  I talked briefly with Mack about my 'love languages'.  My primary love language is clearly Quality Tiime.  (I need time with you, not time spent watching television, by the way.  Just in case  you're reading, dear Mack.)

...and now I can't sleep.

Thanks for listening -

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Christmas is coming!

Yikes!  Is it really?  Do I really need to begin the planning already?  In a word, yes.  It's that time of year.  I'm often so torn; my dear husband defers to me on all matters shopping-related.  Yes, that means I 'get' to select/wrap/ship presents to his mother and do the same for his children.  Now, I'm a shopper of bliblical proportion; it's a hobby/avocation for me.  But still.  Buying 'thoughtful' presents for people I scarcely know is always difficult.  Even more so this year.  Dear Husband's children and I have never been close (I must be a prickly sort of person) but his daughter decided last year that, as long as Mack chose to have a relationship with me, she wouldn't have a relationship with him. 

Fast forward ten months.  It's now daughter's 22nd birthday.  Mack, being a loving father, emailed his daughter telling her 'we' had a small present (something I still need to buy) and suggested we meet for a cocktail (because we're all adults, right?).  For the first time in 10 months, she replied to him with complaints of physical ailments but agreed to meet for the aforementioned gift offering.  Mack suggested a restaurant and time.  Daughter responded there was nothing at the suggested restaurant she could eat owing to her many medical issues.  Mack was eager to have Daughter make a suggestion.  My position was that if this new GI disease is in fact a portion of Daughter's life, she needed to learn to navigate menus.  I suggested several items on the menu that I knew to be gluten-free.  Mack apprecitated my comments and will, apparently, affirm with Daughter the time and place.

Now, am I being hard-line?  I mean, Daughter is not going to arrive with presents for her father, although his birthday is within days of hers so she's not able to forget it.  And why is she suddenly willing to compromise in her position that I am Satan's mother?  Is it for the proffered gift?  And why does that bother me?

Time to go.  I have shopping to do...

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Eve

Never before have I 'celebrated' Thanksgiving eve.  It's always just seemed like one mad rush to get things done; you know, the bread has to be baked, pies made, the stuffing prepared, vegetables readied.  But for the last few years my eldest daughter and her husband have hosted Turkey day at their home.  While I still get to bake bread and make pies, it's a different kind of busy.  I'm not the hostess. There's nothing over which I need to stress. (Gee, sounds as though I enjoy stress, doesn't it?) 

But this year we've added a new twist.  Realizing how challenging the economy has been for all of us, and mindful of the blessings we've received, we join with our church in Mesa to observe a day-long fast today, Thanksgiving eve, to call attention to (our own and others' as well) and to focus our prayers on the number of hungry, homeless and sick among our working poor. (My personal rant this week, in light of the bitter cold weather we've experienced, has been we live in a city where dogs are fed gourmet/organic/gluten-free meals and wear coats and boots, while we have children without either food or proper clothing.  I'm now stepping off my soapbox.)  

So, we're not eating today.  Which means I'm thinking about food - a bunch.  Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Snow! No, wait. It's ice, not snow. Yikes

Here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, we experience four distinct seasons.  One or two of them is pretty.  Autumn is beautiful as leaves on the trees display colors of the harvest.  Summer, after July 4th, is generally nice - not too hot, not too cold - a Goldilocks kinda season.  Today is that rare day; it's cold to be sure (24 degrees) but the sky is clear and there's no wind.  As Mack is away on business, I have little to do today.  Ok, there is a lot I could do but I want to walk in the sunshine with my camera to see what, if anything, I can capture.  Wish me luck.  I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Opening Comments

After much consideration, some consternation and considerable stewing, I've decided to begin blogging.  Not sure what I'm attempting to accomplish; perhaps some venting, perhaps some wisdom sharing, definitely some wisdom-getting. 
Who am I?  I'm a thrice married (twice-divorced) mother of three, wife of Wonderful Husband (we'll call him Mack here).  I acquired two adult children when I married Mack.  They will, I'm sure, provide much fodder for rants...um, I mean, blog posts. 
I have three adult children and, like every parent, my kids are perfect and have never disappointed me.  Well, perhaps I have a problem with honesty, but only in this one instance, y'know?  Frankly, I think I'm  one of the few parents I know who will admit my children mess things up - almost as often as I do.  (refer to the two divorces previously mentioned.)
Initially, when I pondered walking into the blogosphere, it was because of frustration with my husband's Starter wife (ok, that was just plain mean!  They were married for half-of-forever. I apologize.  I'm certain she's a great woman.)  Many of those struggles and issues are now resolved but I feel a need to share some of what we've learned, perhaps hoping to help others find footing in the morass that can be remarriage.
As I'm a rank beginner at this, bear with me as I explore what is here, what I might offer to the blogosphere, and how I might enrich the lives of other.  Perhaps that's my mission, my service goal in life?